Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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