So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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