your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
