That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
