dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
