he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
