i'm signing you up for texting rehab
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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