great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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