And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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