Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
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It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
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Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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