I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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