I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
