they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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