If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
