just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
