he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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