Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
