just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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