WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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