dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
