Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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