If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize