so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I supernannyed him into submission
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
