they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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