I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
