I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
