Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
