Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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