hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
