he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
