C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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