im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
