So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
