these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
