And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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