You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
