Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
