his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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