Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
