Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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