His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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