its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
