so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize