I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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