the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Randomize
