The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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