so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize