We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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