phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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