Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
