I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
my poor anus
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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