i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There r osticjed everywhere
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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