I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
And then he peed in my hair
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