Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
