I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
