He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
