she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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